When the going gets tough: mastering resilience in 2018

Ekwy Chukwuji-Nnene is a former chartered accountant, business analyst turned beauty entrepreneur with an unparalleled passion for inspiring women to find their own Afro hair freedom. After losing her hair to an inflamed scalp, she researched every ingredient under the sun to grow her hair back, successfully. A highly-motivated and determined woman by nature, Ekwy inspires us all to harness the power of resilience throughout the upcoming year. 

Everyone of us is hoping the bright new 2018 will bring opportunities and a blank page on which we can write good things. But remember last year, it was the same and before long the troubles became apparent and maybe even overwhelming. How many of us actually prepare for the inevitable downs? This isn’t being negative but about accepting that life has its share of hurdles and preparing for them. The approach that works isn’t trying to change the situation you find yourself in but to change your approach with the following 7 tweaks:

Define your perception:

Our perceptions are a wellspring of weakness or strength in our character. What you see and understand about the situations around you is completely up to you. You own the decision on what these events mean. Say you have the most annoying boss. It is up to you to see the boss as annoying. It is also up to you to choose to see the opportunity for your character to be formed under tough conditions. A new year doesn’t mean there won’t be unpleasant situations to deal with. It means there could be a new you who decides how you see things.

Recognise your power:

We decide how we respond to a situation. Viktor E. Frankl said in his powerful book, ‘Man’s search for meaning’, ‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’ When emotions rise to the top, we can train ourselves to recognise this space and use it. We can choose to focus on who we want to become after we have gone through this problem. That is your power.

Turn the obstacle to your advantage:

This isn’t quite the same as half-full vs half-empty. Looking the problem in the eye is not the same as wallowing into a pile of ‘why me’. It’s more about choosing to use the problem to work for you. Rather than ask, ‘why me’.  Ask ‘how can I turn this to my advantage?’

Take action:

There will be times when our emotions will get the best of us. Prepare for the times by planning to stay active instead of crumbling. My personality type has a tendency to overthink and analyse a situation which often leads to paralysis. No joke. I am learning to act regardless of how I feel and despite not understanding what just happened.

Know your triggers:

Look behind to last year and note those times when you lost the will to live. Figure out the things that triggered you. Why did you react the way you did? Does it have something to do with your feelings? The thing about your feelings is that they won’t change and that is okay. What you can change though is how you act, regardless of how you feel. And that comes with knowing your triggers and recognising them when they rise.

Say yes to less desirable circumstances:

Be open to suggestions even if they are not to your liking or your initial thinking or what you expect. There will be times in 2108 when you think you deserve better than you are getting, when you know the situation feels like you are being taken advantage of. Ask yourself, ‘will this short term pain lead to long-term gain?’ If the answer is yes, say yes.

Practice persistence:

You will feel that your efforts are not up to scratch numerous times. If the pursuit is one in which you have a sustainable interest, keep at it. Try a different angle but stay moving…always.

To find out more about Ekwy’s brand Equi Botanics visit here.